That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize