My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize