You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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