Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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