Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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