while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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