my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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