just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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