Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize