I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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