So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize