Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
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what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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