Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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