Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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