Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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