Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize