1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize