There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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