Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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