are you still at the devil's house?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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