i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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