I think scott just propositioned me for sex
wat bout pragnant strippers??
they need to just BURY HIM!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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