Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
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And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
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Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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