...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
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she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
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Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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