dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize