Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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