I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize