So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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