i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
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His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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