Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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