Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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