hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize