you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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