Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
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Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
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New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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