plz talk dirty to me
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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