Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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