Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i barfeds in our rink
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize