found the other keg... it's in the tree
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
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He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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