genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize