haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize