If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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