I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize