She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize