GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize