Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize