the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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