There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
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Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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