he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
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Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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