He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
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Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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