no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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